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Leonardo DiCaprio: International Art Thief

Leonardo DiCaprio: International Art Thief

Real life has bred, in my mind, one of the best ideas for a movie I have ever thought of. 

Leonardo DiCaprio has recently handed over multiple artworks to the US Government, including a Picasso and a Basquiat, that were given to him as gifts from Red Granite Pictures. Red Granite Pictures is currently involved in a terrible $3.5 billion money-laundering scheme. Read the article from the LA Times here. He is cooperating fully and had no idea when given the gifts.

As weird and interesting as this may be, the silver lining of this story might be the potential movie to be made from it.

I want to see a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio, playing himself as the A-List, philanthropic, activist that he is. By night, however, he is an international art thief who goes on Indiana Jones-esque adventures. 

He would be following clues and puzzles to scale buildings and temples. Racing evil, well-armed corporations to an artwork lost in time. Things would be exploding, Leo would be beating up corrupt CEOs, saying "THAT'S FOR POLLUTING OUR EARTH!" on the final punch, before pulling a priceless Monat from a safe in a dingy German basement. 

He'd walk out into the street, limping and bleeding from the face, and shoot a flare gun into the sky. A helicopter swoops in and lands. When the door opens, a kevlar-vested Barack Obama (played by Barack Obama) walks out, shakes Leo's hand, accepts the painting and says, "You're a true american hero, Leo."

As Leo watches the chopper fly off into the distance, he whistles for his dog, Cameron, who jogs up to his side and they walk off into the sunset and out of the small German town. 

The art card flashes on screen and says "Leonardo DiCaprio: International Art Thief" and the credits roll as they play Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones.

Crimes against humanity aside... I would see that movie in theaters upwards of 10 times.

BOX OFFICE STANDINGS: JUNE 16-18

BOX OFFICE STANDINGS: JUNE 16-18

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